What's a girl gotta do to get a rinse around here!

I went to the dentist yesterday, and was reminded at just how awkward a place the dentist office can be. Below, please find a list of awkward things that have happened to me while having my teeth cleaned/fixed, etc.

• First of all, my hygienist didn't let me rinse my mouth the entire time she was using her needle-like tool to scrape my teeth clean. My throat, lips and very being were so dry. So, very very dry!!!
  
• Before yesterday, it had been 5 or 6 years since I'd been to the dentist, so you can imagine I was a bit gun-shy. They wanted to take my picture for my file, which leads me to an obvious question: What should one do with their hands while having their picture taken at the dentist. Mine went from straight down by my sides, to clasped neatly in front of me, to one hand on my hip, to in my pockets, all within a couple seconds.
  
• I announced my nervousness to the gal who took me back to the room, after she mentioned it'd been a while since my last appointment. She kind of cleared her throat and told me that my hygienist would be in shortly. If she could read the thought bubble above my head she would have known I was all like "YOU AREN'T MY HYGIENIST?!?!?!?! Good thing, cause you are way too uncomfortable with my apprehension." Also, it would have said "so, who are you?!?!?!"
• When the dentist came in to look at my teeth, he asked for my bite-something. I assumed he was talking to me, and eagerly chomped down. I only, very slightly, bit his finger as I saw that the dental assistant was pulling up my x-rays. So, the lesson here is that a "bite-something" is dentist code for x-ray.
• This reminded me of the time, 15 or so years ago, when my old dentist was looking at my teeth. I felt something foreign in my mouth so naturally I licked it, to try and use my sense of taste/touch to determine was it was. Turned out to be the old doc's finger. He recoiled in disgust, and from then on announced his every move before he did it!
• Then there was the time a young child was brought into my room while I was reclined having my teeth polished. My hygienist was chatting with him, so I assumed it was her son. The kid was cute and sweet, so when she turned to me and announced "what a cutie" I didn't think it was too prideful. She asked how old he was, at which point I realized people thought this was my son. The boy must have realized something was amiss, just about this time, and he got up wandered to the hall saying "that's not my mom". It was weird, and I don't know whatever became of that little boy, but I wish him all the best.
• And finally, I had to get a fake tooth once. My dentist's office had just gotten a new-fangeled machine that makes to fake teeth right in-house. The first tooth they made wasn't quite big enough, so they had to scramble to make a new one. After a few more hours I had my new tooth, bright shiny and polished! My dentist explained to me that they use a fine abrasive to smooth out the tooth once it's in your mouth. He then handed me the too small fake tooth to feel the difference. "Oh yeah!" I marveled. "Yeah," he said "you could lick it to really feel the difference". I can see where he's coming from. To get an accurate comparison I should use the same medium to measure the two. But, I don't know, maybe I could have used my finger to feel the tooth in my mouth. But hey, I'm no dentist.

Yup, dentist offices are funky. Thank you and God bless!!